psychosis by recreation

I fail at life, more news at eleven.

Also: Shit sinks and water is wet.

God, you deserve fucking better than me. I don't feel like I deserve to be in the goddamned apartment right now let alone to look you in the eyes.

I'm sorry, for the exactly nothing that's worth. Can karma just catch up to me now or something?

[Shopping]

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[Announcement]

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[Changes]

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[Damp]

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Pints
[Hal/Tom Post 4x03]

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The First Three
[Hal/Tom]


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Like Dominoes
[Hal/Tom]


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Prologue to a Flower
[Hal/Tom]


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Epilogue for a Flower
[Hal/Tom]


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Tripwire
[Gen AU from 4x01, Post-Apocalyptic]


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Gifts
[Gen, Hal]


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Orders
[Gen-fic, Hal-centered, pre-series]

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Upstairs
[Gen-fic, Hal-centered, pre-series]

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Gloves
[Gen, Drabble, Tom, post 4x03]

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So I feel kind of for no fucking reason universally unnecessary and disappointing, and like I can never stay awake long enough, and I just want to fucking cry or stop feeling extraneous of /smething/.

So far today, I've found out the doll I was looking at is on hold, that my phone is mostly turned off, that no, I am apparently not allowed to go to the bank fucking ever so why even fucking bother going to work and getting the money, that the other doll /is/ available and I'm fucking terrified smeone'l snag him before I get the money available for a down payment, had my mother snappy as fuck because of the phones, and was pretty much swamped at work the moment I stepped in the goddamn door, and got a letter from my boss because some lady I fucking helped out thought I charged her extra to do her fucking uniform shirts by themselves so she could have them for work, after while I had five billion other things to do.

Erik, come give me some freaking perspective,please?

I hate myself kinda beyond belief rigt now.

Congratulations!

It's amazing what you've done; that thing you managed to accomplish. You know; the one that you've always wanted to. That you've been working on achieving for your whole life? All of that hard work was for something after all, and best of all you're still here to enjoy it.

So it's about time to put all of that behind you, isn't it? The strife, and that unnatural way of living. To taste what normality is, and attain the much simpler dream of fewer.

You can be happy now, together with the one you love. With that ring on your finger.

It's a shame, really, that you don't keep up with anyone you used to know, during that other time of your life. But people drift apart. They find others. The things you had in common change and, well.. It was for the better, wasn't it? You found new friends for this peaceful new life. Ones that fit it better, and they did too.

Of course, no one comes through all of that unscathed. That's why your partner has been helping you to cope with all of that. It's been a few years since the end and, well, they're very proud of your progress. Of how much you've been putting everything behind you.

Which..is why this is strange, really. How you seem to be insisting that you're still fighting. That you don't know them. That's cruel, you know. You should be more understanding. It's more than possible to feel like you're back there again but that doesn't make any of this less real you know. You should really stop dwelling on it.

It's better than what you wanted; really. More than just war has been eradicated. There's no more fighting, at all. Death itself can be stoppered almost always in the accidents that do occur. The world has moved on in fantastic new ways, and you've been here the whole time. This is the way things are now. Or else.

Go, look if you refuse to believe it. You can go anywhere, and you'll find it the same. The world has changed.

Thank you; From all of us.